Pass the Baton - A Place of Peace

I finished writing this entry and just before positing, I looked at the title "Pass the Baton". After contemplating what I had written, I included "A Place of Peace" after it and now this paragraph. I almost disagree with the title of the poem now. Having run track but more importantly...coached many of my 6th grade classes for the infamous 6th Grade Track Meet, the relay is the ultimate race. I see the comparison of being on the same team and wanting the best for everyone on your team...but I don't see the parallels that I drew. I completely understand that this paragraph is very random but hear me out: I am not so much passing the baton, but rather realizing that there's another relay team in another heat now that I can cheer for. Sure, I'm not on that particular team anymore, but I care for everyone on it. Both our relay teams can win our own heats. There is room for everyone to win. Ah, there we go...now back with the regularly scheduled blog post:

So much has happened in the past few years. Some of you are well aware of the change while others may be completely unaware. Either way, I hope this message is applicable to you. I wanted to share something I saw recently that rang with so much truth. It's a poem that is titled "Pass the Baton" although the author is unknown to me.

Pass the Baton

A Poem

Just because we didn't work out

doesn't mean it's your loss

or my loss either.

Our chapter is over

and I want you to win

as bad as I want to win too.

I'm not gonna try and make

you regret it

or make you jealous

because there's enough room

for all of us to win.

I'm not gonna find someone better than you, but I'll find

someone better for me.

Just as you have.

We were on the same team

then and we're on the same team now.

Just headed for different directions.

Divorce is never easy. Losing your best friend just plain stinks. But in the end, I am glad for my experiences in life. Those experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. I liked this poem as there's no blame or lingering of negativity but rather acknowledgment of the end of the relationship and all the happiness and hurt it brought. It truly focuses on moving forward. We have 3 children together and in the end, I want them to have the best possible life experiences for their remaining childhood that I can provide. I hope for them to have positive experiences at both houses. I hope for them to know that they are loved at both homes. They deserve that.

I remember talking about how difficult being a step-parent was in my blog. I can tell you that being a "co-parent" can be very difficult and frustrating as well. It is a process...which does take time to eventually arrive at this desire to move forward and wish each other well. I have moments, but I do believe I have arrived. It's a place of peace. A place of just being me. It's a place of hope and love for my children. 

So if you have ever gone through, are thinking about, are going through, have gone through recently, or went through long ago... divorce with children... I see you. I feel you. It is a journey that through time, a loving family, good friends, acts of pure kindness, and a whole load of counseling... you can survive and thrive in the end. Yes, it's a complete reframing of your future. It is crushing while so full of possibilities. I am here for you just as so many were there for me.