Being a step parent is a lot like that...
If you're a step parent and you want a good laugh at yourself...go watch Daddy's Home. Being a parent is hard work. No one really can explain how difficult it is to be a parent. I always heard people say, "oh just wait until you're a parent," or "you don't understand until you have kids..." Cliche I thought...but I had no idea.
Not to toot on my own horn, but I feel like I'm a decent step parent. Sure I have my flaws, as my kids will tell you. And yes, I do call them my kids. To swing on this tangent, I call them my kids for a reason. I met Suzie when Kayden was only 2 and Rose was a mere month old. I have been in their life for the vast majority of it. I have been there when they were sick, fought through homework, patched up skinned knees, listened to fits, you get the idea right? I watched Rose take her first steps, taught Kayden to ride a bike, and seen so much joy in those two kids as they learn, explore, and discover the world around them. So in short, yes, I consider them mine and call them "my kids," because they are mine. I didn't create them, but I love them and care for them. I choose for them to be in my life. They are not an inconvenience or a burden, but rather a joy and a place to learn patience. Sometimes I need to be reminded to calm down and remember that they are growing.
I have had the unique opportunity to not only have two step-children but also have a child between Suzie and me. Nari Nancy is a blessing. I don't know how to describe how I feel about her, other than I love her more than anything. I was so worried I wouldn't know how to feel...but I do.
I know with her, as she grows older, there will be no doubt of who her father is. As an adopted child, I remember screaming at my parents, "you're not my real dad/mom." As a step-parent, I don't know if there is anything more hurtful that those words. I'm sure at some point, Kayden and Rose will use that one on me and it will crush my soul. Granted, as a teenager, do you really know what you're saying? There are SO MANY things I'd do differently if given the opportunity. But they say that hind sight is always 20/20.
There are many things that I want to improve upon. At times, it's overwhelming. Patience, slow to anger, remembering that children are still growing and developing, patience, and patience again...these are just a few of the things. One of the hardest is hearing about how much fun they had at their biological father's house. The temptation is real to put them in the reality of the adult world and how their biological is not all he's cracked up to be...but that's not my place. I won't be that bitter step-parent who has nothing but bitterness towards him. Because of his choices, I have two kiddos and a wonderful wife. My gain.
I'd love to talk to other step-parents out there...a very candid and honest conversation. I have questions that I believe only other step-parents could answer. So if you're reading this and you don't mind answering a few questions, especially if you've been one for a while now...I'd love to have your opinion and ear.
Comments
Post a Comment